While working with one of my clients, a financially stable female earning a high income, she admitted to regretting her divorce. It didn’t hit her until her ex-husband remarried.
When she was filing for a divorce several years ago, she was adamant about her perspective. But now, her perspective has changed. She acknowledges that her marriage wasn’t as bad as she thought.
She wishes there was a rewind button to redo that time of her life. She wants to tell her younger self to listen more and to judge less.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t come with a rewind button to delete past decisions.
If you search the internet for statistics about divorce regret, there are few studies. There are a couple of studies from the U.K., but they are limited in participants and were conducted several years ago.
However, you don’t need a survey to evaluate how you feel. If you are experiencing regret from your divorce, know that this feeling is part of the healing process.
If your social and financial life is different than what you imagined for your post-divorce life, then these changes may cause you to second guess your decision. Sadly, the grass is not always greener on the other side.
Help yourself move forward with life by reaching out to your support group. Letting your loved ones know you need help to move forward will bring new opportunities for you, as well as strengthen your bond with those relationships.
Schedule activities with your family and friends. Don’t use it as a time to express your regret. Instead, use it as a way to move forward.
Find fun festivals to attend or art exhibits to explore with people in your support group. Take short trips to nearby towns or even pretend to be a tourist in your current town.
If you lack a strong support group, then expand your circle of friends. Sign up for a new class or participate in a volunteer group. It’s easier to meet people if you share a common interest.
If you are stuck in regret, seek professional help. Yes, some couples do reconnect after divorce; however, if your ex-spouse has moved on from the relationship, then you need to let go of the thought of reconciliation.
It would be easier if life had a rewind button to change the path we’ve selected. But it doesn’t. It’s known as our journey.
Regretting divorce is part of the healing process. It’s normal to question whether or not the right decision was made, especially when post-divorce life is different than what was expected.
Reach out to your support group to help you move forward. Those who truly care for you will help you on this new journey.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA™, RICP®, CRPC®, is the Founder of Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing spending plans, comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”
MORE “Personal Relationship” Posts: