Is Social Media Harming Your Relationship?

In my financial planning practice, I work with individuals who are in a relationship at all stages:

…those getting ready to tie the knot, whether for the first time or after a divorce;

… newlyweds, new parents, empty-nesters, and retirees;

…those contemplating a divorce, going through a divorce, or post-divorce;

… those who loss a spouse.

Over the years, one thing that has changed with our personal relationships is the impact of social media.

Some relationships have strengthened with social media. And other relationships have ended with social media.

With smartphones, it’s easy to post wherever and whenever you desire. It’s also easy to react to or comment on posts by others.

But sometimes, this impulsive behavior can have adverse impacts.

If you’re in a relationship, spend time with your partner defining boundaries between your personal life and what you post on the internet.

Even if your profile is private, others can still find ways to hack into your information.

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Here are some things to consider:

Could your career or your partner’s career be adversely impacted by your posts?

Does posting when you’re traveling leave your home vulnerable to break-ins?

If you purchase a new home or vehicle will your post draw the wrong attention?

Based on your posts, is it easy for others to tell when you and your spouse are fighting? Is it something you want to broadcast, especially if you’re contemplating or going through a divorce?

If you find out you’re pregnant, do you immediately post or wait until later in the pregnancy?

Do you use your children’s full name in posts or do you use nicknames (unfortunately, social media is used by those who prey on children)?

Do you establish rules with your children on what and when to post (unfortunately, you could be liable if your child engages in social media bullying)?

Would you be comfortable sharing your userid and password with your partner or are you hiding questionable online activity (e.g., flirting with someone from a previous relationship)?

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Breakdown in marriages happens when there’s a lack of communication and trust. Social media has played a role in breakdowns – that’s why it’s important to have these discussions with your partner.

While I believe in being authentic, it’s more important to be aware of the impact your posts will have on your relationships, especially with your partner.

If your relationship is more valuable, then opt not to post. We survived many decades without social media.

(Update to original post from February 12, 2017)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA™, RICP®, CRPC®, is the Founder of Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing spending plans, comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, and retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”