Blog | 5 P’s of Life
It’s been a while since your spouse passed away. You were beginning to feel as if you could finally move forward with life.
And then, this pandemic started.
Shelter-in-place orders have caused your grief to resurface. You’ve been at home by yourself longer than you have been since the time your spouse passed away.
You’ve kept in contact with family and friends through regular phone calls and video calls. But you didn’t want to bring anyone down.
You thought the feelings would pass. But it seems as if your grieving process has started all over again.
As we start to re-open in many areas and return to a new normal, create a daily schedule for yourself. The intent is to help you process your feelings. It is not to stay so busy that you don’t deal with them.
Divide your day into three segments: self-care, tasks, and others. This concept of time-blocking your day will help you focus on these segments to help you process your grief.
The “self-care” category includes exercising, meditation, journaling, and many other activities to help you focus on yourself. If you search on the internet “self-care,” you’ll find many ideas.
Identify one or two activities to do every day, such as walking and meditating. For the rest of your self-care time, mix different activities during the week.
For example, Tuesday and Thursday could be your art days where you paint or craft. And Monday, Wednesday, and Friday could be your reading days for your stack of books and magazines.
Your “self-care” time could be divided into two blocks – one at the beginning of the day and the other at the end of the day.
The category “tasks” includes your regular errands and household chores. It could also include projects around the house, such as organizing a closet.
When you time-block for the household projects, it makes it easier to tackle without becoming overwhelmed. It forces you to break the project into smaller steps.
The last category, “others,” is what you do for other people, such as volunteering. By shifting your focus to help those in need, you tend to reframe your grief by giving your life more purpose.
This category also includes your time with family and friends. For example, if you decide to babysit your grandchildren or go to lunch with a friend.
Typically, we tend to spend more time in the “other” segment and less time in the “self-care” segment. By time-blocking your days, it will encourage you to focus on yourself. It’s what you need to process your grief.
As you create your schedule, make it flexible to accommodate for delays and interruptions. Leave 15-30 minutes in between time-blocks to eliminate stress.
Remember, you’re in control of your schedule. Stay focused on its purpose, to help you cope with the unexpected resurface of grief.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Niv Persaud, CFP®, CDFA™, RICP®, CRPC®, is the Founder of Transition Planning & Guidance, LLC. Life is more than money. It’s about living the lifestyle you want and can afford. For that reason, Niv consults with clients on money, life, and work. Her approach capitalizes on techniques she learned throughout her career, including as a management consultant, executive recruiter, and financial advisor. Her services include developing spending plans, comprehensive financial plans, divorce financial reviews, retirement plans. Niv actively gives back to her community through her volunteer efforts. She believes in living life to the fullest by cherishing friendships, enjoying the beauty of nature and laughing often — even at herself. Her favorite quote is by Erma Bombeck, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say ‘I used everything you gave me.’”
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